Busy

So far, so good... or so I thought. School's fine. I mean, still got nothing to worry about, right? Though there's this one class that I'm not really comfortable with. It's not that I'm not interested in it, but... I don't know. My professor, perhaps. Ha ha ha! But I'll get the hang of it. Soon, Ayra... soon. :)

Any case, I think I might love to write for PHR. I'm starting on my first manuscript, and I'm currently on Chapter 2. Not really my first manuscript, but more like... my umpteenth attempt to develop its story. I'm happy with the results, new twists and plots coming into me. Not bad either. If my story ever happened to be approved, that'd be a good source of income. :p Hehe.

By the way, my Father confirmed I'm gonna get an iPhone 4 for my birthday (shit so happaaay).. I just wanted to ask, where's the best place near Laguna to get one? :)

Another thing, I've been buying lots of novels from Booksale lately and... I'm currently on the second book. How nice is that, huh.

The fudge, this is nonsense. Sorry for the inconvenience. :D

Song Of The Day #1 "Crush"

I just randomly started singing this, and I don't even know why. So I just thought I'd share it with you. Fun song.

CRUSH - David Archuleta

Happy weekend, everybody! I promise to catch up whenever time permits. :)

Wishlist

Hindi masamang mangarap. Ha ha!

1. Canon Powershot S95

It's like DSLR, but sexier. Nalove at first sight ako dito nang malaman kong 720P ang video resolution nito. Balak ko kasing gumawa ng short films (kuno). Kaya ayun, nagrequest ako sa Tita ko nito. :D

2. iPhone 4

Ayoko nang mag-explain, basta gusto ko. :) Ito naman hiniling ko sa Tatay ko, at dahil kabibili lang niya ng sarili niyang ganito, sana ibigay na niya sa akin 'yun. jk

3. Boom microphone o kahit magandang microphone lang, kaya kong gawin ang DIY boom pole tutorials sa Youtube. Ah-yuz.

4. Creative mind. Srsly.

Yun lang. Ay teka, tsaka ano, mga damit pamasok. :)

Photos - credits to owner.

Ketchup

Wow, sorry if I haven't been online for a few days. I was sick, and I still am. My fever's nocturnal, it awakens during the night, so I might as well take the chance to make an entry while the sun is still shining. lol

I have a few days left before school resumes, and I'm thinking of spending it through deep slumbers to fill up the tablet because I won't be getting enough sleep once it started. I'm slightly excited, though.

Actually, I should be going out today with Joan and Deyn, but the latter is caught up with fever so... I guess we won't push through. But any case, I can still go out with my family tomorrow! Yay! It's my uncle's birthday, and he has this annual grand celebration at his house. So, hurrah!

Oh noes, there's less than a month before I turn legal.

Time to read new entries from ppl I follow!

Catch up.

Biggest Loser

I'm thankful for this reality show. Finally, a certain something I can relate to.

During my first year in high school, I was picked on for being fat. It made me hate attending school. My first 2 years in high school were the worst, I despised it. If there's a period in my life I'll be granted to go back to, I promise, it won't be my high school years. The few good things in that period in my life were the things I learned and my real friends. And trust me, I only have a few.

There was a point in my life where I'd walk along the corridor with my head bowed, because at one point or another, I'm gonna get criticized. They might not say it to my face, but some people actually did. It was hard for me to be confident if I'm just starting to bloom, yet some people are already closing their doors to me. I never fitted in. Or maybe I did, to my friends. Agh, what's up with the mentality.

I was bullied, verbally, non-verbally and backstabically(lol). No one knows it except me. Not my friends, not even my family. I never told anyone about it because I was starting to think that it was actually my fault, because of how I look. Maybe that's the reason why high school was such a living hell to me. I never had the chance to be myself when I was in high school. I grew in and got out of it with such fear. I might sound ungrateful, but I was partly happy during graduation because finally I'm getting out of it. Srsly.

I never opened up to anyone because it felt like I'm the only one who can understand what's happening. I was afraid of rejection.

I never thought I could be happy until I entered college(UPH Calamba). It felt like I found a new family, just bigger, 10 times bigger and a million times happier. They might think I'm a little crazy, but they just don't know how I feel. It feels very home-y that I could finally be myself. Finally. Freaking finally. If I could hire anyone to describe me, they'd be it. Especially my two best friends, who are my sisters from another mother, Joan and Dean. These people might not be aware of it, but I'm thankful, honestly thankful and grateful, to be a part of the family. And then I had to move to another university...

...which is a different story, and I'm still on it.

This is actually my first time blogging while bawling like a baby. :|

If you wanna know my lazy and negative side, talk to my parents, or perhaps my relatives(haha srsly though). If you wanna know who I was, get the hell out of here because I'm not gonna be that person again. If you wanna know what I am, spend time with my best friends. And lastly, if you wanna know who I am, open your mind and be my friend.

PS: Yes, my college life is in bold because I love it. I still do. And I hope the people in it do, too. :)

Wicked Red

I made Wicked Red as this blog's URL just because it's my nail's polish the time I was creating this. :D I have no idea, but it sounded so cute. I was just curious so I'm gonna post what I found on Google web and images under 'wicked red'.

Google web:

1. Wicked Red corsets (http://www.wickedred.com/)

2. Trovit Cars (http://cars.trovit.co.uk/used-cars/wicked-red-citroen)

3. Createx Colors (http://www.createxcolors.com/product/wickedcolors/main.html)

Google images:

I'm relieved. Coz I'm starting to think I named this blog like one of those adult film production companies. Ha ha ha! :)

After a long wait

Finally, I got my schedule for this coming semester. It's not congested, but still, it isn't bad. This is an example of a better-safe-than-sorry schedule. Ha ha! I cannot risk anything anymore. I don't want to lose any course, so I'm not cancelling any of those. It's not finalized yet because I still have to check if I can take PE classes, too. But all in all, this is gonna be my schedule:

I can't make the size bigger so... here they are: NASC2, NASC7, HUM2, ENG4, COMA101, SPCM102. I should still be thankful because I have complete 18 units! System One's still the same. Patience-tester, but bearable. I should do better this time. :)

But srsly, who cares about my schedule. :D

Zombie Apocalypse

"Zombie apocalypse" was one of the trending topics on Twitter last May 20 or 21, I think. Am I the only one who thinks it's cool? Well, only if I survived and be one of the people firing guns and running for their lives. Ha ha! So what would you do if it did happen? The worst side of the zombie outbreak would be.. well, the zombie outbreak. And having watched zombie movies recently, I can conclude that there's also a fun side to it. Oye, you think I'm crazy. Ha ha ha!

Fun side:

1. You get to steal cars.

2. And groceries.

3. And expensive clothes.

4. And everything you want.

5. Without getting caught.

Now I'm crazy. Ha ha! The only thing I want to accomplish before an apocalypse is to learn how to use a gun, and memorize or at least be familiar with a map. loljk  But srsly, I'm one of those ppl who thinks it's fun. I started liking the idea of it when a certain computer game called Left 4 Dead was introduced to me by my classmates. Srsly, I've been to computer shops everyday not to check my mail or anything but to play it. Addicting.

I'm retarded. You've been warned.

PS: Try watching The Walking Dead. By far the most awesome zombie-ish on screen. :D

Who the hell is he?

Since the Royal Wedding, I've been hearing and reading a lot about the "ideal man." Some dreams of having their own Prince Charming and Cinderella story. That's not bad, actually. And so there are these TV shows/series that has its own love story. *ting ting ting* Gossip Girl. A new potential pair was introduced to the viewers, and that is the Dan and Blair team-up. No doubt, Dan really fits the concept of "ideal man", of course Chuck and Nate, too. But not as much as Daniel Humphrey.

Every girl already knows what their ideal man should be like. We have our own inspirational stories as basis for it. Some dreams of their own Landon Carter, Julian Baker, Noah Calhoun and a lot more. Movies and TV shows gave us too much expectation from men, well at least for me. But I don't see it as a bad thing. I still believe in guys who are like those in the movies. Hah, so much for being a sucker for flicks.

My ideal man takes a human form in Nathan Scott. Or fictional form, lol. At first I want us to be two utterly different people, and as time goes by, it also permits us to know more about each other real well. It's like growing together while developing feelings for each other. Nathan and Haley have been helping themselves and each other to grow, up and together. Nathan was a douche at first, but you can see him changing very gradual when he was with Haley. Seeing through the past 8 seasons of One Tree Hill, his character had matured, I could tell. I can still remember what Coach Durham told Nathan, this isn't verbatim, but it goes something like this: Maybe you're not taking a step forward as a basketball player, but you're taking two steps forward as a man.

I want my ideal man to be a MAN, not a GUY. Those are two entirely different things.

In case you don't know him, here's a picture of Nathan(James Lafferty):

I'm still searching and praying for my own Nathan Scott. Who's yours? :)

Home

I remembered how much I've wanted to live in a mobile home. And I still do, honestly. I've been looking through a lot of mobile home blogs on Tumblr, and you know what to expect. I'd buy one if I could afford it, hopefully in the future. But there's also another thing I'd love to live in. Yep, an exposed brick loft.

I want it multi-leveled, funky and gypsy-ish at the same time. I don't know what's in it that makes me love its appeal rather than a nice, normal laid-back house. I think decorating lofts brings out your creative juices. :p Being a fan of diners, I instantly loved the photo above. Funky.

I've always dreamed of living by myself abroad, in my own home, using my self-and-hard-earned money. And uh, here's a picture of where I want to live in given the chance that I'd be on a roadtrip:

Now that I know what I want, I should start working hard to get it. Bye. <3

P.S. (This is quick editing for my additional words) Time check: 01:25 am. I've changed my mind. I want a loft looking almost like the one in the photo. I already drew a balcony for it. I might post it some other time when it looks decent, I still have to finish it. lol  Basically it's just a simple balcony at the front with a hammock in it. :)

Credits to the respective owners of the pictures, by the way.

One indescribable thing

Have you ever wondered why is it so damn hard to get disconnected from something that you're used to doing or living with? That's how I feel at the moment, and I'm not even talking about love here. This is about something I'm just used to waking up to. You know that feeling, you know you do... or did.

The feeling you get when you're attached to it in about everyday of your life and then one day, it was just so drastic it's gone without you knowing. There were no warnings that you are about to face a big challenge, the challenge of dealing with the sad truth. It sucks big time.

One day you wake up, confused and not knowing what to do.

The hardest part about losing something are the memories, because they never leave. Knowing that it's never coming back, remembering one thing connected to it brings back all the feelings, making it so much harder for you to go on because there's just so much to remember. It still hurts to let go.

And when the time comes, you've already let go, the best thing to do is hope that it should never come back again. But what happens if it did come back, and you still want it? Would you let it cross your life again? Are you ready to undergo and repeat what had happened, or are you willing to create a new story and start all over again?

Are you ready to trust and take the risk... again?

Up and Old

A long time ago, my family isn't doing very well. My parents came to a point that they would have to go their separate ways, but they didn't because of us, their children.

Every family in this world is given a problem to solve; to test their bond, to challenge their faith and to see how far they would go given a certain scenario. I mean, that's just normal, right? That's what I felt some time ago when my parents were not on good terms. It really affected me, being the eldest and the only one who probably understand what's really going on at that time. But I can't help but not speak. I don't know why, but I just can't blurt out what I feel. I'm not very good with communicating with my parents profoundly, I mean, it scares me and I don't even know why.

Now I do believe that knowing a lot while growing up is one heck of a challenge, well at least for me, because you're given such responsibilities that would drive you crazy. You can't just sit around not caring about what's happening. You have to take a stand about all things, you have to know what's conventionally right and wrong and deciding what you're going to do with it. You are expected to interact with your environment. I don't even know if I'm making any sense, but that's just how I feel while growing up.

There are certain decisions and things in your life where you have to consider not only yourself but also the people around you. That's what my parents did when they were arguing for over a long period of time. They've set themselves aside because they have responsibilities and obligations, which is us, their children. They cannot just make impulsive decisions which might lead to a much worse case. I'm glad they stayed together, and now things are better. I'm really glad.

You see, that's what I'm afraid of. Growing up and taking the biggest responsibilities in my life. I'm scared because I don't know if I am ready to face such things or worse, if I'm capable of solving them. But what the hell, there are still plenty of rooms for me to grow. I want and don't want to grow up, it seems to me like it's exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time. Growing old is a different thing, it's inevitable. But growing up, I think, is earned. So I better take chances in my life and see if I'd grow up.

I rarely talk to my parents about this, but I'm really happy that we are still a family. Even stronger now. They don't know it, but I'm really thankful that I have them in my life. I can't imagine myself if they're not around. I'm a huge slacker, I need them. lol :p