I'm thankful for this reality show. Finally, a certain something I can relate to.
During my first year in high school, I was picked on for being fat. It made me hate attending school. My first 2 years in high school were the worst, I despised it. If there's a period in my life I'll be granted to go back to, I promise, it won't be my high school years. The few good things in that period in my life were the things I learned and my real friends. And trust me, I only have a few.
There was a point in my life where I'd walk along the corridor with my head bowed, because at one point or another, I'm gonna get criticized. They might not say it to my face, but some people actually did. It was hard for me to be confident if I'm just starting to bloom, yet some people are already closing their doors to me. I never fitted in. Or maybe I did, to my friends. Agh, what's up with the mentality.
I was bullied, verbally, non-verbally and backstabically(lol). No one knows it except me. Not my friends, not even my family. I never told anyone about it because I was starting to think that it was actually my fault, because of how I look. Maybe that's the reason why high school was such a living hell to me. I never had the chance to be myself when I was in high school. I grew in and got out of it with such fear. I might sound ungrateful, but I was partly happy during graduation because finally I'm getting out of it. Srsly.
I never opened up to anyone because it felt like I'm the only one who can understand what's happening. I was afraid of rejection.
I never thought I could be happy until I entered college(UPH Calamba). It felt like I found a new family, just bigger, 10 times bigger and a million times happier. They might think I'm a little crazy, but they just don't know how I feel. It feels very home-y that I could finally be myself. Finally. Freaking finally. If I could hire anyone to describe me, they'd be it. Especially my two best friends, who are my sisters from another mother, Joan and Dean. These people might not be aware of it, but I'm thankful, honestly thankful and grateful, to be a part of the family. And then I had to move to another university...
...which is a different story, and I'm still on it.
This is actually my first time blogging while bawling like a baby. :|
If you wanna know my lazy and negative side, talk to my parents, or perhaps my relatives(haha srsly though). If you wanna know who I was, get the hell out of here because I'm not gonna be that person again. If you wanna know what I am, spend time with my best friends. And lastly, if you wanna know who I am, open your mind and be my friend.
PS: Yes, my college life is in bold because I love it. I still do. And I hope the people in it do, too. :)
Hello ate Ayra. :) I could totally relate with you. The difference is, I did stand up for myself. Well, many, as like you, have told me I'm fat. It hurts, really. I hope those people understand what you've gone through. I have adjusted at my past school but this year, I'm transferring. I hope they don't pick on me much.
ReplyDelete^Caryl! Ngayon ko lang nabasa ang comment mo :) I was thinking where I could contact you to thank you for following me. Are you from Teentalk? :)
ReplyDeleteI did defend myself, but I was the one who got tired, because these bullies never gave up. On my 2nd year in high school, they're still there, but I should've been more cautious because they've became pretentious.
Any case, it's all different now. I think I'm the only person who loves college more than high school. LOL
Thanks again! <3