After a long wait

Finally, I got my schedule for this coming semester. It's not congested, but still, it isn't bad. This is an example of a better-safe-than-sorry schedule. Ha ha! I cannot risk anything anymore. I don't want to lose any course, so I'm not cancelling any of those. It's not finalized yet because I still have to check if I can take PE classes, too. But all in all, this is gonna be my schedule:

I can't make the size bigger so... here they are: NASC2, NASC7, HUM2, ENG4, COMA101, SPCM102. I should still be thankful because I have complete 18 units! System One's still the same. Patience-tester, but bearable. I should do better this time. :)

But srsly, who cares about my schedule. :D

Zombie Apocalypse

"Zombie apocalypse" was one of the trending topics on Twitter last May 20 or 21, I think. Am I the only one who thinks it's cool? Well, only if I survived and be one of the people firing guns and running for their lives. Ha ha! So what would you do if it did happen? The worst side of the zombie outbreak would be.. well, the zombie outbreak. And having watched zombie movies recently, I can conclude that there's also a fun side to it. Oye, you think I'm crazy. Ha ha ha!

Fun side:

1. You get to steal cars.

2. And groceries.

3. And expensive clothes.

4. And everything you want.

5. Without getting caught.

Now I'm crazy. Ha ha! The only thing I want to accomplish before an apocalypse is to learn how to use a gun, and memorize or at least be familiar with a map. loljk  But srsly, I'm one of those ppl who thinks it's fun. I started liking the idea of it when a certain computer game called Left 4 Dead was introduced to me by my classmates. Srsly, I've been to computer shops everyday not to check my mail or anything but to play it. Addicting.

I'm retarded. You've been warned.

PS: Try watching The Walking Dead. By far the most awesome zombie-ish on screen. :D

Who the hell is he?

Since the Royal Wedding, I've been hearing and reading a lot about the "ideal man." Some dreams of having their own Prince Charming and Cinderella story. That's not bad, actually. And so there are these TV shows/series that has its own love story. *ting ting ting* Gossip Girl. A new potential pair was introduced to the viewers, and that is the Dan and Blair team-up. No doubt, Dan really fits the concept of "ideal man", of course Chuck and Nate, too. But not as much as Daniel Humphrey.

Every girl already knows what their ideal man should be like. We have our own inspirational stories as basis for it. Some dreams of their own Landon Carter, Julian Baker, Noah Calhoun and a lot more. Movies and TV shows gave us too much expectation from men, well at least for me. But I don't see it as a bad thing. I still believe in guys who are like those in the movies. Hah, so much for being a sucker for flicks.

My ideal man takes a human form in Nathan Scott. Or fictional form, lol. At first I want us to be two utterly different people, and as time goes by, it also permits us to know more about each other real well. It's like growing together while developing feelings for each other. Nathan and Haley have been helping themselves and each other to grow, up and together. Nathan was a douche at first, but you can see him changing very gradual when he was with Haley. Seeing through the past 8 seasons of One Tree Hill, his character had matured, I could tell. I can still remember what Coach Durham told Nathan, this isn't verbatim, but it goes something like this: Maybe you're not taking a step forward as a basketball player, but you're taking two steps forward as a man.

I want my ideal man to be a MAN, not a GUY. Those are two entirely different things.

In case you don't know him, here's a picture of Nathan(James Lafferty):

I'm still searching and praying for my own Nathan Scott. Who's yours? :)

Home

I remembered how much I've wanted to live in a mobile home. And I still do, honestly. I've been looking through a lot of mobile home blogs on Tumblr, and you know what to expect. I'd buy one if I could afford it, hopefully in the future. But there's also another thing I'd love to live in. Yep, an exposed brick loft.

I want it multi-leveled, funky and gypsy-ish at the same time. I don't know what's in it that makes me love its appeal rather than a nice, normal laid-back house. I think decorating lofts brings out your creative juices. :p Being a fan of diners, I instantly loved the photo above. Funky.

I've always dreamed of living by myself abroad, in my own home, using my self-and-hard-earned money. And uh, here's a picture of where I want to live in given the chance that I'd be on a roadtrip:

Now that I know what I want, I should start working hard to get it. Bye. <3

P.S. (This is quick editing for my additional words) Time check: 01:25 am. I've changed my mind. I want a loft looking almost like the one in the photo. I already drew a balcony for it. I might post it some other time when it looks decent, I still have to finish it. lol  Basically it's just a simple balcony at the front with a hammock in it. :)

Credits to the respective owners of the pictures, by the way.

One indescribable thing

Have you ever wondered why is it so damn hard to get disconnected from something that you're used to doing or living with? That's how I feel at the moment, and I'm not even talking about love here. This is about something I'm just used to waking up to. You know that feeling, you know you do... or did.

The feeling you get when you're attached to it in about everyday of your life and then one day, it was just so drastic it's gone without you knowing. There were no warnings that you are about to face a big challenge, the challenge of dealing with the sad truth. It sucks big time.

One day you wake up, confused and not knowing what to do.

The hardest part about losing something are the memories, because they never leave. Knowing that it's never coming back, remembering one thing connected to it brings back all the feelings, making it so much harder for you to go on because there's just so much to remember. It still hurts to let go.

And when the time comes, you've already let go, the best thing to do is hope that it should never come back again. But what happens if it did come back, and you still want it? Would you let it cross your life again? Are you ready to undergo and repeat what had happened, or are you willing to create a new story and start all over again?

Are you ready to trust and take the risk... again?

Up and Old

A long time ago, my family isn't doing very well. My parents came to a point that they would have to go their separate ways, but they didn't because of us, their children.

Every family in this world is given a problem to solve; to test their bond, to challenge their faith and to see how far they would go given a certain scenario. I mean, that's just normal, right? That's what I felt some time ago when my parents were not on good terms. It really affected me, being the eldest and the only one who probably understand what's really going on at that time. But I can't help but not speak. I don't know why, but I just can't blurt out what I feel. I'm not very good with communicating with my parents profoundly, I mean, it scares me and I don't even know why.

Now I do believe that knowing a lot while growing up is one heck of a challenge, well at least for me, because you're given such responsibilities that would drive you crazy. You can't just sit around not caring about what's happening. You have to take a stand about all things, you have to know what's conventionally right and wrong and deciding what you're going to do with it. You are expected to interact with your environment. I don't even know if I'm making any sense, but that's just how I feel while growing up.

There are certain decisions and things in your life where you have to consider not only yourself but also the people around you. That's what my parents did when they were arguing for over a long period of time. They've set themselves aside because they have responsibilities and obligations, which is us, their children. They cannot just make impulsive decisions which might lead to a much worse case. I'm glad they stayed together, and now things are better. I'm really glad.

You see, that's what I'm afraid of. Growing up and taking the biggest responsibilities in my life. I'm scared because I don't know if I am ready to face such things or worse, if I'm capable of solving them. But what the hell, there are still plenty of rooms for me to grow. I want and don't want to grow up, it seems to me like it's exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time. Growing old is a different thing, it's inevitable. But growing up, I think, is earned. So I better take chances in my life and see if I'd grow up.

I rarely talk to my parents about this, but I'm really happy that we are still a family. Even stronger now. They don't know it, but I'm really thankful that I have them in my life. I can't imagine myself if they're not around. I'm a huge slacker, I need them. lol :p